Like a scene from Dexter.

Beetroot Beer. Wow!

Never had I thought that brewing beer at home would look like a scene from Dexter. That was until I had a bright idea late last year when I drank my very first beetroot beer. Such was the 'wow' factor that the beer made me want to brew my own version. Yep, the humble beetroot with all its natural blessings was going to be bastardised into a beer, a home brewed beer.

But how? Thanks to my mate Google (he's such a pleasant fellow) I let my fingers do the walking. But unlike my terrible attempted gag to relate to a Yellow Pages ad from yesteryear my ambition to brew a beetroot beer wasn't terrible. In fact, it was wonderful. I had fight and determination, just like Dexter himself to get the job done. What I didn't anticipate was the blood-like mess I'd encounter.

Blood spatter look-a-like?

Having this humble beet in my hand seemed very innocuous. Reality was, though, that if I didn't protect myself with rubber gloves and wear an old t-shirt the possibility of ending up like one of Dexter Morgan's victims was very probable. So, as I donned the gloves on and put on a faded t-shirt that even a musician playing in the Devonshire Street tunnel wouldn't wear I knew I was ready to rock.

Well, rock back and forth actually- back and forth, as the beetroot slid across the many edges of the grater. It was at that moment I had genuinely thought that I was in a Colombian hospital where the victims of shooting crimes were being prepped for operations. So messy was this that I had fears that when the Australian Securities and Investment Commission were finished with Eddie Obeid they be after my blood, too.

Dexter would be proud

Thankfully, the only blood they would have seen is the one from the look-a-like blood from the beetroot. My gloves were covered, my cutting board was covered, my granite kitchen top was covered. Everything was covered with beetroot. That has to be one of the worst messes I've seen, and I just saw the Australian batsmen mess up in India!

To think that this was only one beetroot I grated? I had to do another! Fair Dinkum! Back and forth I go like a yo-yo in grating the second. While grating I actually imagined what the beer would be like. Well, the colour anyway. I mean, I knew it was going to be sort of red but really did wonder how deep a colour it would be?

It was some ways away before I'd actually find out, so in the mean time I grabbed a small pot, put some water in it and dumped the grated beetroot in it. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble. It sure as hell bubbled alright. I boiled it for about 10 minutes, just enough time for me to finish another of William Shakespeare's works.

I then let it cool down, then strained the liquid into a container to remove the solids. The container was then placed in a cold water bath, something I almost experienced during my recent winter trip to Minnesota. I guess it was one of those things where I wished I had a fire extinguisher, since I know that a blast of that would cool the beetroot liquid just a touch faster.

The Beet is cool

Still, patience is a virtue and so with that I prepped the keg. Cleaning is paramount in brewing and I am very anal when it comes to that. When the beetroot juice was cool enough I simply poured it into the keg, which was followed very soon after with the American Wheat beer I brewed. I then sealed the keg, put it in the fridge, set the C02 tank on and let it carbonate. A few days later out come what could only be described as Dexter Morgan's Blood Beer.
 
Although the whole experience was a complete and utter mess it was certainly something I was looking for. I may have basterdised the beetroot, but in its name I have glamourised it and have made it so, so cool. So cool that Steve McQueen's ghost whispered that he wanted one. It was a home brewed beetroot beer that has made everyone say 'wow'. I like that.

dannbrew@gmail.com